How Inclusive Listening can Assist Project Managers
Posted by [email protected] on Aug. 24, 2023 / Subscribe 0
As project managers, a large part of our job is communicating. We manage communication between all stakeholders, we manage communication with our team, we are the hub of communication for the projects we manage. And when we are not at the top of our communication game, it can lead to serious problems for our projects and our teams. So how can we ensure that we are practicing the best communication strategies in our projects to achieve project outcomes and expectations while fostering a healthy work environment? A great way to ensure that we are providing the best communication possible is to practice inclusive communication.
What is Inclusive Communication?
It is much more than just the hot DE&I buzzword; it is a method of actively listening to those you are communicating with to ensure that your message is received and understood as it was intended. In this day and age, there are so many things that can get in the way and cause conflict or prevent the message from being understood as it is needed. A perfect example, a friend of mine ran into a conflict with a younger team member who felt her methods of communication were aggressive and intimidating. She has always considered herself a cheerleader and an advocate. She did not understand how her message was so badly received. After talking with the colleague one on one she discovered that her overuse of exclamation points was not conveying excitement to the colleague, it was conveying aggression. Her direct communication style came across as demanding and the overall experience was off putting.
How to Practice Inclusive Communication
You may have heard tips in the past like “don’t use sports metaphors with women” or “instead of saying ‘I’ say ‘we to be more inclusive.” While in general these tips are not bad examples of ways to open your mind to the concept of inclusive language, they are not great examples of implementing it because they are rife with assumptions (for example, that women don’t understand sports.) and can serve to reinforce bias rather than overcome bias and provide a truly inclusive environment.
In my experience, the key to inclusive communication is to listen and pay attention to those around you and check your biases. Let’s go back to the example with the cheerleading PM. She noticed that her team member was less engaged and responsive. She could have fallen into the above trap and assumed it was because of age differences (50-year-old leader speaking to a 22-year-old team member) or because the team member was an introvert. She could’ve brushed it off and said that it didn’t matter since the team member was doing what she was supposed to do.
But this project manager is a servant leader and it didn’t feel right having her new team member pulling back so she knew she had to do something to shore up the relationship. She invited the young lady to lunch and created a safe space. In AIHR article Inclusive Communication: What Is It and Why It Matters they advise “create a safe space for employees to express themselves without fear of repercussions. This means being open and willing to hear different perspectives and encouraging dialogue. This way, employees will feel that their views are valued and respected.” This advice is even better for managers than it is for HR. When our PM took her new team member out for lunch, she allowed them to have a conversation that would be private from the team. She let the team member know how wonderful her work was and how pleased she was to be working with her. Then she noted that the team member felt a bit distant and as a servant leader it was her job as a PM to clear any roadblocks for the team member. This allowed the team member to open up about what was bothering her.
Now, do not fall into the trap of defending yourself. Use your active listening skills. Then reply appropriately. It took some effort and patience for our PM friend to get from “You are aggressive and intimidating” to understanding what about her communication style came across that way. It also took a lot of “I’m sorry you feel that way, can you give me an example of what you mean so I can adapt and change to better suit your needs?” before she was able to home in on the exclamation marks coming across as yelling, not as enthusiasm. She then learned that this employee was used to being asked politely to do things, and the way that our PM directly assigned things felt demanding. Getting that kind of feedback can hurt, but it can also be great so long as you actually make the changes so that you show that you truly are a safe space. Cultivate that safe space for your team by praising in public, rebuking in private, by always going to bat for them, by showing that you listen and learn and adapt to their needs.
Beyond active listening there are a lot of other ways you can become a more inclusive leader. These top 5 tips In Intranet Connections’ article How to improve your inclusive communication: the top five habits of inclusive leaders are fantastic habits to include in your tool box. I really love the tip of setting clear standards and expectations, as I do this at the beginning of every project. Once I identify all the stakeholders and get their feedback, I let them know how they can reach me and ask them how they prefer to receive updates and communications within a reasonable realm of options. I also do this as part of new team setups, establishing clear rules around communication between the team to ensure we are all treating one another with respect, connecting in the best ways for each project and for each team member.
I also love how they explain being authentic. I think an important part of being authentic includes owning that we are all human and we make mistakes and being humble enough to let your team (or anyone you communicate with) know that you are open to being corrected, to learning and doing better. Set the example and do your best. The better you get at inclusive communication the smoother your interactions with others will become, the less conflicts and misunderstandings will happen, and the more open others will be with you.
Heid Angell is a Project Management Professional working on her Program Management Professional certification, with 20 years of working in all aspects of business development including customer service, marketing, product development, advertising, HR, employee training, and financial management. She is a passionate servant leader, change maker, course developer, and published author. She loves telling stories that connect people, leading by example, and practicing the ABLE philosophy (always be learning everything) New to Northern Utah Chapter, she is honored to serve as the director of DE& I. She welcomes you to connect with her on Linkedin to learn and grow together.
0 Comments